pain chart

my love, what is your number today?

"Mr. Roedel, how would you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10?” the nurse asked me yesterday as I flopped and floundered on the E.R. exam table I was sitting on.

“17,819!” I yelped as the kidney stone inside of me performed a triple summersault on the unforgiving mat that is my urinary track.

The nurse looked up from her electronic tablet she was mashing out notes on to give me a quick glance of silent disapproval. She turned her finger into a ruler and pointed at the chart on the wall that showed a slew of faces in various states of discomfort.

“Let’s stick to the 0-10 scale, please,” she said in a tone that reminded me of how my elementary school teachers used to speak to me.

“Please give me a serious answer,” the nurse said after I remained silent. It was the second time in a row she used “please” while speaking to me. This was not a good sign.

I put on my glasses and looked at the pain chart more closely. I wanted to be a compliant patient - so, I decided to take a bit more time to reflect on my pain value.