a shoeless affair
On being seduced by the feeling of importance.
I wrote a poem this morning in a low-lit café while trying to figure out how I lost myself for a while.
Turns out Importance is a terrible mistress.
******* I left myself years ago for someone I could never be. His name was Importance. It was a torrid affair that ended up with me cheating on the person I was born to be. Being unfaithful to myself came out of nowhere. It was a fast-boil seduction that started with me flirting with the Importance who showed up on my porch wearing a tux. “Sorry, but I am in a committed relationship,” I lied while pointing to my heart. Importance pulled a rose out of thin air and placed it between his teeth. He clapped and Latin dancing music from somewhere behind us began to play. Importance started to sway his hips to the beat right there on my front steps. “Aren’t you tired of the same old same old?” Importance asked through the rose petals. I blushed. It had been so long since anything outside of myself had ever paid attention to me. And here was something giving me a full romantic performance. Importance noticed my softening. He pulled the rose from his teeth and placed it in my hand and said, “Let me in and we can just be friends.” I laughed out loud. “Just friends?” I asked. It was Importance’s turn to lie. “Of course. No funny stuff.” I let him in. He took off his shoes. Then he took off mine. He sprawled out on the couch like a model. I started a kettle. Importance started to steam. The rest unfolded quickly, like a rollover accident. I rolled over. Then I rolled again. Again. Again. Again. Before I knew it, the kettle was screaming, but neither of us stopped it. We were too busy being shoeless on the couch together. I am not going to lie. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so good to be held by something that was trying to earn it. We laughed. We gossiped. We planned. Later, as the sun began to set, I pointed toward the door. “You better go. My heart will be home soon,” I said weakly. Importance gave a six-yard smile and said the line he had obviously been practicing: “Why don’t you come with me?” I gasped for appearances. Secretly, I had been hoping Importance was going to ask me that very question. “Don’t you want me?” Importance asked. Eyes burning. I sighed. “Of course, I do, but my heart won’t ever understand.” He leaned in close and uttered his next magic spell: “Isn’t it time you started putting what you want first?” I was fully enchanted. He handed me back my shoes. I started packing.
